Ever have a moment where you kind of feel really great about a skill or ability or role you have. I had one of those for about 10 minutes recently.
During my last pregnancy, I could not use or smell any toothpaste but the plainest of the plain. It's flavor title was even boring "regular paste."
Well, I unnecessarily purchased a multi-pack of the stuff that didn't cause me to gag because I was certain I would be using it forever now that no other kind was acceptable.
Well, I came back around, said a sarcastic yet honest "I'm sorry honey" to my husband for putting up with the disgusting flavor for so long. Then I bought some sparkling, whitening, control maximum everything flavor kind to replace the other paste.
So then I was stuck with 3 tubes of regular paste.
I pushed it to the back of the closet and found the expired paste the other day.
I almost tossed it in the trash, then I stopped.
I remembered how as a kid I thought it would be fun to squeeze out all the toothpaste from the full tube, call it my rebellious side, I know.
So I brought my proposal to the kids along with some paper plates.
They looked at me funny, then decided they liked the idea, and within minutes were giggling and laughing. Both at the absurdity of the moment and at the paste squishing out.
Enter my moment. It was a good few seconds feeling like a cool, creative carefree on task mommy. I began to prep for dinner. My first mistake. When I turned my back the kids asked, "can we put our hands in?" not wanting to loose my moment I said yes but do so outside.
3 minutes (and I'm not exaggerating) later. Silence from the deck then eruption of giggles.
Of course I float over with my great mom halo, and then I hear the cackle in my head.
Regular paste in their hair, regular paste on the deck, regular paste painted the picnic table, regular paste on their clothes...
...regular paste my new worst enemy.
Exit awesome mommy.
Enter near freak out mommy.
I bark some orders which included not to touch anything and go to the yard awaiting your hosing off.
I snapped and what was innocent playful fun became way too much mess to clean.
I proceeded scrubbing the deck, washing the door handles, sulking in my sheer stupidity.
Silently hoping Handsome K would enter from work to see a happy, silly fun time...after those three minutes that hope was shattered....in from work he walked as one child was stripped down standing in the yard and the other was finding it entertaining to watch mommy scrub the deck floor.
But my husband did not let out a stream of words condemning my idea and saying how obviously south this "activity" went. He didn't belittle me or make me feel stupid.
He simply scooped up one and headed to the shower.
I sent the second kid into the bathroom, because in case you're wondering paste does not come off by simply squirting from a water hose.
Handsome K stepped right in, with the day of work behind him and with a frazzled "cool mom" to greet him...he never once said anything to state the obvious mess.
I would have.
Had I walked in on this I would have had a stream of frustrated things to say about the situation and sadly probably directed toward him too.
I thought of this as I scrubbed and cleaned and almost started crying (and even get teary as I write this now) at the sheer ugliness of my alleged sin I would have committed, I'm sure of it. If the tables had been turned.
I confessed my attitude and disgust and went back and told the kids I was sorry for being so frustrated at the mess. Sometimes the mess is worth the fun, I lead them in this mess, it wasn't their fault or disobedience. They thought it was fun until freak out mom arrived.
Sometimes, more often than I like to admit, I wish I could take back making mountains out of some mole hills. This was one.
God spoke softly to my heart and said, "I love you and forgive you." I told my dear husband thanks for being kind and gentle. I confessed that I don't know that I would have been. God reminded me of this command in His word, "Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love.". (Ephesians 4:2)
That's what handsome K displayed to me, that is his character.
Lord, I pray for this character, one that reflects your love God, not my human desires for order.
Thank you, my love, for being someone who sharpens me with you just being you, gracious and gentle.