So the other night, while washing my hands after a not worth mentioning task of mothering, I overheard this conversation. Karis says, "Freckle" as she points to Karson's said freckle only revealed during certain moments of the day. Karson says, "yep it's my freckle on my bottom, I take it everywhere with me, it's been there for a long time." Granted a long time to him is the roughly 3 years it has been with him, but I had to stop and think for a moment...do I treat my relationship with Jesus much like this freckle...He's with me always, but do I respond like He is there only during certain moments of my day, do I only care that He's there when someone else asks me about it? Do I only make mention of it when I am reminded? Am I only aware of His presence when I'm by myself, in the rare quiet moments in my mind and heart? I don't want my relationship with Jesus to be like a freckle, only noticed when it is obvious or asked about. I want my love of Jesus to be noticed easily when around me. I also want to be as proud and matter of fact about Jesus as Karson was his freckle..."I take it everywhere I go."
Hebrews 13:5 "Be satisfied with what you have, for He Himself has said, I will never leave you or forsake you. Therefore, we may boldly say: The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"
Friday, June 4, 2010
Just a couple of weeks ago, we found ourselves in a hotel, which really means we were in the pool past Karson's bedtime helping him learn how to swim and trying to catch him when he spontaneously jumped in. I am amazed at his courage, is this the same kid that 2 summers ago wouldn't jump in? Well it was just Karson and I in the pool and as I said, he enjoys jumping in, I always have to remind him to wait until I am looking and near him so I've taught him to count before he jumps. This gives me at least 1.5 seconds to get to him where he is. He jumps and trusts...oh, I don't think he knows he is trusting, but he's not at all worried or concerned with making sure I will catch him. He just jumps! He jumps without hesitation, he jumps with gusto, he jumps to make a big splash...yet, never asks before he jumps, "Are you going to catch me this time mommy?" Why? Because I have always caught him, I have always been there when he needed to be caught. What faith he has in me as his mommy. He trusts without question. Do I have that kind of faith in my Father? Do I have the faith to jump and believe that I will always be caught without asking, "Daddy will you catch me this time?" I should because I have always been caught when I jump in faith. History proves that God will catch me. History and relationship. Jesus once said to the disciples when they couldn't drive out a demon..."it is because of your little faith, for I assure you: if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will tell this mountain to move and it will move. Nothing will be impossible." (Matt. 17:20) I want to move mountains with my faith, I want to jump without hesitation, without question, without fear...
Before we got out of the pool, Karson went to the shallow step and proclaimed, "I'm going to walk on water." He put his foot confidently on top of the water and it sank, he went under. He came back up truly surprised and said, "oh, I can't" I wonder if he really thought he could, I wonder if he really thought he could and it would have brought glory to God, maybe he would have walked on water. He had already shown faith, and taught me much, so maybe walking on water wasn't necessary.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Being the mom of a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old, I have observed that whatever the 4 yr. old does the 2 yr. old inevitably thinks she can do too. She runs with gusto after a tall hill, or mounts up on a see saw or the back of a ride on truck, believing that she too can do it, solely based on the fact that he can do it. If Karson can, Karis can, or she will attempt it without reservation. Does she think that if he makes a choice to do something that it is a good choice, that it is obedient, that it is safe? Does she ponder what the consequences will be? Does she make a well thought out decision based on research and others' opinion? While this would be necessary in lots of adult life decisions, it doesn't occur to her in her 2 yr. old decision making skills. If Karson is going down a tall slide, she wants to...if Karson makes a silly face or silly noise, she mimics him exactly, if Karson is banging his cup on the table, she does too...How do I wield such influence as a 4 yr. old has on a 2 yr. old? How can I look at my kids and tell them, like Paul said in the Bible, do as I do? Am I making choices and decisions that model loving Jesus in a way that I can say to my kids, imitate me, copy me, do as I am doing? I want to be that kind of mommy, that can of person in love with my Savior so that I can say to my kids..."therefore, I urge you to imitate me," (1 Corinthians 4:16)
"Be imitators or God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loeved us and gave himself up for us..." (Ephesians 5:1-2)
Friday, March 19, 2010
While putting Karson to bed (where deep conversations seem to happen) Karson said, "I want to be a teacher, then a race car driver, then a doctor, then a fire guy, then a basketball player...but I don't think I have any basketball shorts." I like that the sky is the limit with kids, that no matter how impossible having those 5 careers are in my 3 decade old logical mind, Karson really thinks these things are not far fetched simply because he wants to do it. He thinks of something else he'd like to do and adds it to the list, not replace something, but adds. What if my daily thoughts were more like this, as if all I need to follow my dream or live life to the full wasn't so much about a half empty glass, but a half full glass? What if I thought I will do xyz and not let anything stand in my way. I want my life to be life to the fullest and not miss anything because I think it is impossible. I have learned a lot from my husband in this area too, enjoying spontaneity and enjoying doing a little more work for a lot more fun. I want to think if only I had basketball shorts...and figure out how to get some.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Karson recently had pajama day at preschool and he likes it okay. He doesn't understand why he is suppose to wear pjs to preschool, and asked me "why am I not wearing real clothes?" I tell him it's a special day because I'm not sure what else to say. I like pajama day, he gets to not only pick out what he wants to wear the night before but he actually gets to wear it to bed, which saves us a good 4 minutes the next morning (and yes we are usually looking to save minutes anywhere we can). Well on the last pj day Karson chose his blue monkey pjs...when we were on the way home he said, "I didn't have to tell anyone my favorite color today they already know it." I was not thinking totally straight for my dear daughter was repeating "book please" over and over and I was trying to make sure I didn't run any red lights or hit any pedestrians while contorting my body to reach a book to hand over into the backseat...and said, "how would everyone know your favorite color if you didn't tell them?" He simply says, "Because I'm all "blued" out Mom!" I laughed and thought about that...if people knew him well and noticed what color he was wearing he might be right. They would know his favorite by how he dressed himself...which only made me question, "do people know my favorite things by looking at me?" This is a scary thought as I was in a hoodie and jeans with hair pulled on top of my head...do people know what I like and who I love by looking at me...do people know I love Jesus by the way I love? Can people tell what is important to me or "my favorite" just by being around me? I don't know if I can answer yes to that question every day...Lord, may I be someone who projects my love for you to others simply by being in their presence.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Tonight while driving in the car, Karson began to ask about weddings...you see during quiet time in his room he found a plastic ring and calling it his wedding ring and put it on his finger. Thus prompting his wedding conversation...he asked will I be married and live by myself? Will I get married when I am a grown up? I told him he could get married if he wanted to when he was a grown up...he asked if he would marry Karis. I talked about how you marry someone who isn't in your family, not your sister or your mother, and someone who is your best friend. He then named his best friend (who is a boy of course) and said he would marry Sam. I said boys marry girls and girls marry boys...then he decided he would marry Sam's sister and Karis could marry Sam. I thought this was funny and quite smart...he thought since he couldn't be with his family, whom he cannot imagine life without, he would marry his friend. Karson then said, can I ask Ella to marry me? I told him that maybe when he was a grown up he would ask her. I don't think that this moment we just arranged a marriage, but it will be interesting to see if he chooses to talk to Ella about this, let's see.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Goodnight Moon is a book that I received from someone when Karson was born, and since then I have read it countless times to both him and his sister. Tonight with both of them cuddled in my lap while we rocked back and forth together in the almost 4 year old rocking chair, I once again read Goodnight Moon. Only this time, Karson said most of the words. Now he's done this before due to the times we've read it together he has it memorized, but tonight it hit me a little differently...it hit me in my heart. I listened as he "read" it to his sister and I and he even quietly said, "hush" when it was in the book, to which his sister mimicked him by whispering too. I sat still and took a mental picture...and thought back to about 2 years ago...we were walking into our house one night and Karson stopped in the driveway and looked up at the bright shinning moon. He didn't have alot of words, but he pointed with his little stumpy finger and and said, "nite, nite moon." I can hear his little voice echo in my ear like it just happened. Fast forward back to tonight and I hear Karis copy her brother and say "nite moon." Time is going by so quickly and yet some days seem to creep by with interesting monotony though I don't want them to speed up. I'm reminded of a verse in 1 Thessalonians that says, "Be joyful always...give thanks in all circumstances" Thank you Lord for the two little lives that I have been blessed with, two little souls that bring so much joy into my life. Nite, nite Moon.